Strange Days Have Tracked Us Down

I dreamed of you weeks ago. It was a sunny day. It was hot. You wore a blouse and a skirt. The heat was melting me and I thought that it would be awesome to wear skirt sometimes, like Axl Rose and Kurt Cobain did in the 90's. We had a meeting in a classroom and we were so closed together. Behind your mask, I could perceive your smile. It shined like a gigantic free spirit. The light of the classroom also made you look like an older woman and covered your face with freckles. Your ear rings also shined. They moved along your face as you spoke and smiled behind your mask. 

As we spoke about nothing, I did not want to focus on your legs, but it was almost an impossible mission. I sensed them with all my skin senses, like a warm touch in the eyes, like a colorful cut in the retinas. You know, some of the photos you share on Facebook in real life, in which you wear skirts also, are almost impossible to ignore. Dunno why, but I am obsessed with legs since I was a kid. When I first felt attracted to women, legs were like a crazy magnet. And since then I'm such an animal and an idiot. I don't want to be misunderstood: I respect women, I admire women and I think women are the most valuable living being on Earth. 

Dunno why I cannot control myself. Am I ill? 

In your photos you look like an innocent mom, you look so happy with your baby daughter, you look so happy with your husband. And it just seems you're so real. And I really like the way you are with your family and with your friends. I haven't ever seen you mad or angst. It is so admirable. 

In the dream, it was also almost an impossible mission to ignore your legs. And, as I write these lines, I truly feel bad about it. I know I am just an animal. No matter how much gray matter do I have, no matter how much I try to use my brain: I am a simple man with simple ideas and simple wishes... and dark thoughts. This photo I had seen on your Facebook in real life, had suddenly appeared in another dream and then inside another dream, and so when I had this dream I write about it, I was suddenly scared of the intensity and the power of an image unconsciously trapped in my mind. I wasn't aware of the photo, until I dreamed of it for the first time. And it left me dumbfounded and thinking of your legs. 

Everything was so intense in the dream. Suddenly you shined like a gigantic raising sun. When I picked up the pieces in which your legs were the main character of all of my dreams, I realized you reminded me of my first girlfriend. We were in junior high school and she was younger than me. We met under strange conditions and there were rumors about her cheating on me, but I just kind of believed she was innocent and I accepted it. She sort of hypnotized me. She was so seductive and played to be innocent. 

As I write these lines, my cats are running like wild horses and they ask me to feed them. They made me feel that this is stupid. They sort of tell me “Hey, man, stop writing non sense things about your dreams; come on, wake up and feed us!” But I need to write. Nowadays it is a bit difficult to have some kind of inspiration and time to write. I am studying and teaching and working on bureaucratic stuff all the time. 

So in my dream I realized you reminded me of my first girlfriend and it was a perfect excuse to look briefly to your legs. Immediately, as I took a look, like a deep breath before diving in, I felt irradiated by the energy of your legs and I felt I was a stupid hypnotized animal. And so here I am again. I dreamed of you again. As I wake up I realized we were closed together again. And that you sort of hypnotized me and made me realized you felt the same way I feel about your legs. And you made me realized you knew how I felt about your legs. In this recurrent dream you wear a blouse and a skirt and you smile and your smile shines like a gigantic free spirit, like a wild horse. And my heart is so crazy about it and I sense everything is possible. It is scary. It is a nightmare. And I feel bad about it. I am a stupid hypnotized animal. I feel guilty. I cannot control my dreams. Dunno why, but I am obsessed with legs. I'm such an animal and an idiot. Dunno why I cannot control myself. 

With Animals Staring At Your Cleavage

Last weekend, I drunk too much alcohol.

Each time I do it, weird things happen. 

One of these weird things consists in starting to talk to strangers.

Another weird thing is that I say what I really think about them. 

The last weekend some friends came to my place.

Someone invited a chubby girl. 

I had seen her at another parties. 

It's impossible to ignore her. 

She's a big breasted girl and she usually wears blouses with cleavage. 

Someone told me that her dad had died a few months ago. 

Supposedly her personality changed a lot. 

When she arrived, I was kind of drunk, having a conversation in the living room. 

I was talking about the Mexican soccer team and its limited opportunities to transcend in the next World Cup in South Africa. 

As I spoke I sensed that Antonia was incessantly looking at me.

As usual, she wore a blouse with cleavage. 

As she seemed to want to make eye contact with me, I couldn't stop thinking of her cleavage. 

I tried to focus on the conversation, but it was so impressive. 

At some point, I stood up.

I took another beer from the fridge. 

When I closed the door, Antonia was there. 

She scared me. 

She smiled and kinda bit her lips in a pretty suggestive way. 

I shrugged my shoulders and offered her my beer.

She accepted. Again I opened the door of the fridge and then I took another beer. 

As I was doing it, I couldn't stop thinking about her cleavage. 

I had seeing it briefly as I gave her my beer. 

The boiling image of the abyss between her breasts exploded madly in my brain. 

I was really drunk.  

We sit face to face in the dinning room. 

I took a sip of the beer and I closed my eyes. 

I felt so excited. 

I had that boiling image in front of me. 

When I opened my eyes, I felt dizzy. 

Antonia started to talk. 

I made my best to focus on her face. 

She studies at the National School of Plastic Arts and she's a big fan of mac Operative System. She also likes to take photographs. 

I had nothing to say. 

Then she asked me random things about monkeys and science. 

As a lot of people do, Antonia believed that science's goal is deciphering why laziness and bad temper are related to high IQs. 

She even told me about a supposedly journalistic article on which some researchers found that obesity is related to bad relationships. 

She also believed that monkeys were some sort of funny primates. 

Dunno remember what did I tell her, but certainly she was surprised. 

Suddenly we were talking about music. She loved The Doors and she couldn't understand why do I like Nirvana. For her, Kurt Cobain was a terrible composer and musician. She pissed me off. She barely knew Nevermind. This album was her only one reference.  

She asked me too many things and she took advantage of my drunkenness. 

Despite I was drunk, I could sense that she was talking to me in a very sexual way. 

She continued bitting her lips and smiling. 

Maybe she was drunk, too. 

At some point, I realized I had stopped looking at her cleavage. 

Then, I watched it again. 

I felt I was like a thirsty vampire and I decided to talk about it. 

She laughed and reacted as if what I had said would have flattered her. 

I told her what kind of photographs I like. 

Obviously, I told her I love the ones with cleavages.  

Later, she left my place. 

Now, I feel so stupid. 

I feel so sorry and confused. 

(What the hell was she trying to do?)

[So Alone-Lou Reed]