Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Oh, You Know That I'd Do Anything For You





My grandfather had a birthday party when my brother told me he knew someone who could give us a cat. His friend had an older cat with kittens, and she couldn't take care of all of them. We just had had a French Puddle, and it really hadn't been a good experience, so I had no idea if having a cat would be different. Nevertheless, I was sort of enthusiastic 'cause I had seen alot of kittens and I thought they were interesting and mysterious. I felt attracted to cats, 'cause they always seemed involved in honest playfulness or boredom. Certainly, cats were not like a noisy, smelly and dependant dog. 


Once I was kind of convinced by my brother, we started to talk to our parents. When they were kids, they were more the kind of kids with dogs, so I thought it would be difficult to convince them of having a cat. Besides, we didn't take a good care of that French Puddle we had. 

Surprisingly, my father was enthusiastic, too. He told us that, among several dogs, he had had a little cat when he was a kid, and he immediately asked us "How are you gonna' call it? Is it a male or a female?" My mother wasn't sure at all. "You're not going to take care of that cat. You didn't do it when you had a dog", said. After all, she was right. We didn't care, or even got sad, when one of her friends took away Cookie from us.

After a long discussion, we decided to call it "Socrates", and I don't remember exactly why. I think I wanted to name it "Kerouac" or "Hitchcock", or something like that, but my brothers just thought those names were so pretentious.



Socrates was an amazing cat. He looked like a tiger and he was so intrepid. In a few hours, he learned how to climb up the stairs. He was really too connected to me. Early in the morning, he just scratched the door of my bedroom to wake me up and asked me to feed him. Standard food was available for him all the time, but I just gave him palatable food every morning. 

I opened the door and he started to purr and allowed me to touch him. He used to sleep in my bedroom all day long, and I remember being writing or reading a thousand times, while Socrates just stared at me with his sleepy gray-yellow-blue eyes. Somehow, he seemed to know how much I loved my books, 'cause, even when he scratched or bit everything, he didn't touch them. 


Socrates grew up too fast, and started to run away from home. He learned how to run away after three or four months since he arrived home, and I thought it was the most natural thing to happen. He used to dissapear for days and then to returned thin, starved and dirty. He ate desperately and slept for hours. 

At the age of six months or so, we decided to neuter him. It was thruly sad. He changed alot. It was like if he were angst and couldn't understand why in the hell we had done to him so. 

When he recovered from surgery, he became more rebel and intolerant than he ever was, and he started to run away from home more frequently than before. One night, Socrates went away and never returned. For months, I couldn't stop thinking how would it be for him, if he could survive. I didn't want to believe that it might be possible that he was already death. It was awful. I felt terrible. 

via GIPHY

After almost ten years, I still miss him. He was my best first friend. 

A dog-lover would say it was karma, for not taking care of that French Puddle

WHAT else do they know?

Your Innocence Is Treasure, Your Innocence Is Death

She was just a girl, she talked just like a girl, she thought just like a girl, but she looked like a woman.
I tried to focus in her brown little eyes, but couldn't avoid staring at her neckline. Her gaze was deleterious and impressive, owlish. For a time, I was crazy about her. And I felt like a pervert.


She wanted me to make her my girl, she talked me everyday, she asked me to see her anytime, but I didn't want to get in the middle of a relationship with someone younger than me. Then, her ex-boyfriend appeared and she got involved with him again, and I regretted all those single moments when she stared at me and asked me to not look at her. She was nervous when I looked at her.


Later, she just simply got bored and I suffered my incapacity to date someone 10 years younger than me.

All Dried Up And Tied Up Forever



I was 18 years old, and I liked you a lot 
You were so pretty and smart and older than me
I wanted to meet you so bad
You practiced yoga and you were a professional dancer

I was just a stupid boy listening to Antichrist Superstar
And pretending to be interested in the things that mattered to you

I just wanted to learn from your lifestyle and that's why I lied
That very first time I spoke to you, when I told you that I liked The Beatles

We spoke for hours and you gave me your telephone number
We looked face to face all the time and your eyesight was so intense
I was so exhausted but happy


For a couple of weeks, I thought you looked like Mila Kunis
And later I decided to call you up on the telephone
It was a shiny Thursday, and I was so nervous and excited

Your voice appeared suddenly, and I felt about to have a heart-attack 
You were sleepy and exhausted, and I knew you had anemia

I had to smoke a cigarette to get rid of my nerves

We agreed to see Heavenly Creatures that very afternoon
But I didn't find you at the movie theater and I had to watch the movie alone

Later, as we walked on the street and we discussed about Peter Jackson's movie,
You laughed and asked me "What do you exactly expect from me?"


We talked on the telephone for almost six months, and I fall in love with you

There was another guy in your life, but you felt comfortable with me

I was listening up I'll be your lover, I'll be forever, I am anything when I'm high
When you call me again, and you told me you wanted us to be more than friends
And I couldn't believe it

From on time to another, we were dating each other, but it didn't work out
I used to be as stupid and unsecure as possible, and you got tired of it
Then you left the city to pursue your dancer career, and we started to write letters

Sometimes you came to the city and we sometimes we met, but it was different

So we are strangers now