Can't believe it.
I am really pissed off!
I would like to scream it!
I would like to yell it to Academia!
I would like to tear my skin!
What I've just noticed, I find it pretty unfair.
It sucks.
I published many papers as first author when I was his pupil.
No one of his several PhD students, published as many papers as I did.
Not even the most brilliant.
(As he pointed out several times, in front of undergrads: "I just followed his instructions and I had no ideas".)
Not even those workaholics.
(Those who worked from 5 a.m. to 10 p.m. on a daily basis.)
Not even those who later would become postdocs on fancy labs.
(Those who went to Europe, to the labs of the Neurosciences' rockstars of the time.)
Not even those who already have published papers on Nature, Science or PNAS.
Never understood why he changed so dramatically with me.
At the beginning, when I was about to study a PhD, he was so polite with me.
He even asked me for my personal life and goals.
Later, as he pointed out a couple of times, at his office, it was not mandatory to become friends. It was mean to be an academic transaction. Simple and plain.
Not less, not more.
It was not my fault that most of the undergrads in the lab at that time were lazy, irresponsible and disrespectful.
I had many issues to deal with.
I wasn't able to run the experiments of these students, if it was what he found it so deceiving.
I had to deal with my savings.
Due to my intention to publish more papers than I needed to obtain my academic degree, the scholarship finished and I had to survive an entire year with my savings and with a symbolic scholarship that he gave me for six months.
It didn't even cover the rent of the apartment where my wife, my cat and myself lived.
It's so true that we had to move to a cheaper place in an awful neighborhood.
I wasn't able to stay at his lab for a longer period to fix equipment and to run many more experiments, if it was what he found it so disappointing.
I also had to deal with my own classes.
I was professor at the University and I had to prepare six hours of classes weekly and I had to review examinations a couple of times each six months.
I even taught almost the full course of a Master's Degree on which he was responsible.
I am not complaining. I see it as an opportunity he allowed me to have.
No matter what, I never stopped running experiments.
That's so obvious. There it is my track record of published papers.
It's not inside my head!
At the last period of my PhD, he even refused to treat me like a colleague.
He humiliated me when I was about to submit to review my last first author paper at his lab.
It was so absurd. He freaked out for a detail that I omitted systematically on my previous first author papers.
(Of course, I had already done by myself the entire process of submitting my papers to the corresponding journals previously, and this was not the exception.)
It seemed that he waited to the last moment to have an excuse to made me mad.
I repeat it: it was so absurd, 'cause it was mean to annoy me.
One of his last PhD students that I met –never obtained the academic degree and was accused of plagiarism–, put my name on the acknowledgements of one paper!
He just copy pasted my own acknowledgements!
(If he was so tough, why he didn't force the student to change the acknowledgments appropriately?)
I know this is an unfair world of appearances.
It's better to dress like a professional, than to be professional.
It's better to look like a passionate scientist than to be a compromised scientist.
It's better to speak like a scientist than to write like a scientist.
I no longer understand it.
I am really pissed off!
He just published a review.
Obviously, he's free to do that.
He's expected to do so.
What pisses me off is that this review includes data of all the papers I published at his lab!
And this is the first time I know about it.
I am not overreacting.
Why he didn't send me a freaking e-mail to ask me to collaborate?
(When I was at his lab, he e-mailed me all the time... even for humiliated me!)
It wasn't so obvious that, in this academic transaction we had, I've would like to have another published paper?
(I stayed at his lab more than I needed just because I wanted to have more published papers!)
I am not overreacting.
He changed all my original graphs on this review!
At least, I could do that.
(Who would it be the most appropiate guy to do so?)
Obviously, I would have written on the review if he asked me to collaborate.
(Do I have to mention that in all of my first author published papers at his lab, he forced me to include authors that, if you ask them "right now", which are the titles and the hypotheses of the papers, they won't answer 'cause they don't even know...?
Simple and plain.
Not less, not more.)
He didn't say a word to me about this review!
I see it as a complete loss.
Like a crashed car.
I don't desire him the worst.
Life has its own ways to kill you at your most private moments.
You Can't Fire Me Because I Quit
