If Tears Were Liquor I'd Have Drunk Myself Sick

The night was dark and quiet, but Nadine felt her heart was shining aloud. She told me so. I felt the opposite 'cause I didn't love her and I didn't want to stay anymore with her. She used to control me and she had threatened me many times. All the time, she was about to break up with me and to get involved with her favourite ex, again. He was an idiot, a sad stalker. Once, he'd tried to kidnap me and beat me up, just to make me suffer as he suffered because Nadine was in a relationship with me. I didn't understand why Nadine told me so, but I felt sorry for him, and I also hated him. He was pathetic. 

One of Nadine's dogs', a Great Pyrenees called Layne, in honor to Alice In Chains' singer, had died on the last week, so I couldn't be rough. We crossed the parking lot and got to the Taurus. A few minutes ago, we were watching Pulp Fiction, and I'd just hated when she mentioned that Tarantino asked Cobain if he wanted to appear on the movie as a drug dealer. Of course I'd heard of it. That anecdote was so popular, and I was sick of it. You just had to read the booklet of In Utero to have an idea. Nevertheless, I smiled and hold her hand.  

Under the moonlight, Nadine looked like a movie star, blonde and fragile as Marilyn Monroe, but somehow stupid and selfish as Cindy Crawford. I was profoundly confused and tired. My thoughts were focused on just one thing: I wanted to end up that relationship. 

Suddenly, Nadine stared at me. Dim lights made it impossible to not look at her pale blue eyes. They were absolutely beautiful. Then, she asked me if I was sick, and I just told her that I was tired. Ironically, I started to feel sick. I just wanted to sleep. Abruptly, she started to cry. I tried to feel empathy, but I couldn't. "If you need someone to support you, you should call Andreas... He's always available for you", I told her, and she screamed and freaked out. 

We got into the Taurus and I turned on the radio, and the radio was playing a Mark Lanegan's song. Nadine drove the car as I enjoyed and felt connected to the music. She was silent and angst, and, in the middle of nowhere, she told me that she definitely was breaking up with me and that Andreas was a better guy for her than me. She stopped the car, and asked me to leave her alone. I was scared, but I felt drunk and happy.    

What else should I do?

via GIPHY

Stronger Than All

I was 13 years old. My younger brother heard Pantera on a daily basis. A friend of him, introduced him to the band. It was the summer of 1994. The band sounded violent and faster than any other band I heard before. I used to saw I'm broken on TV, almost every other day. Even though I liked them, never thought someday I would attend to a Pantera show. 

It was a rainy evening, on July 1997 at El Palacio De Los Deportes, when Pantera came to Mexico City, for a second time. A few months before, they had been the opening act for Kiss in the same venue. 

Obviously, my brother was a big fan of the band -I wasn't, at all-, but he was not interested in school and he had bad notes, so our parents didn't allow him to go to the show. 

I was there, with a friend of mine. He said he liked Pantera, but he also liked Sepultura, Ugly Kid Joe, Metallica, Skid Row, Kiss, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Guns N' Roses, basketball and beer. My friend was sort of a poser, but it was funny to hang out with him. He really looked like a heavy metal fan. He had long hair in a punk style, he always dressed shorts and the infamous I Hate Myself And I Want To Die t-shirt which everybody wore short after Cobain's death. 

That evening, Anthrax and Makina played, too. It was a really violent and intense show. At some point, it started to rain and the water began to seep through the roof. It was funny and refreshing. 

Also, when Pantera came out to the stage, people drove wild and began to smash chairs and stuff like that. I don't know who thought it was a great idea to put chairs for the audience in a show like that. It was silly. People started to steal merchandise, too. T-shirts, beers, food... anything you can imagine. 

I kinda felt out of place, but the disaster was so contagious. 

Never thought Dimebag Darrell would die in such an awful way, some years later.