Even though I was so enthusiastic for what it meant for me, if I think about it, I really did not enjoy my life at all.
I was so stressed and focused on my research project, working for a minimum of ten hours, almost on a daily basis, that I got drunk on weekends to deal with stress.
I smoked tobacco and ate unhealthy food.
The only physical activity I practiced was to play soccer on Saturdays.
I demanded too much from my heart.
At the lab, I attended to seminars each Monday.
They were divided in two categories.
On the morning, we had a Journal Club.
The second was meant to be a progress seminar and it started at lunch time and ended almost at 9:00 p.m.
At that time, they were several lazy and irresponsible students in the lab.
Frequently, they did not appear on Mondays and they did not perform experiments. They pissed off my advisor and the seminars became a nightmare.
No matter what, these seminars were never suspended -except for a couple weeks on summer and Christmas holidays.
Outside the lab, I attended to seminars each Wednesday.
They were organized on a Clinical of Addictive Disorders and they were basically for physicians, psychologists and therapists.
These seminars were taught in the same way students teach a class, when they have to expose: thousands of slides with statements that everybody could read.
They were mainly a waste of time.
I was also an asignature professor at the School of Psychology, four to six hours per week.
As a PhD student, I attended to a class which I really thought it was a waste of time.
Also, I performed experiments, sleep recordings, stereotaxic surgeries, statistical analyses and things like that.
Six years ago, Mark Lanegan came to Mexico City.
He and his band were touring Blues Funeral and they gave a show on April 9th, 2012.
Though I knew a little bit Mark Lanegan's solo career, I would have loved to go to his show.
I had heard several albums of Screaming Trees.
I believe that I just had bought Blues Funeral.
I missed his show.
I was so focused on my research project, that I heard about Mark Lanegan's show almost a year later, when Soundgarden came to Mexico City for the first time.
I felt so stupid.
Now, I have several papers as first author and things have changed a lot.
A few days earlier, it was accepted my first paper as corresponding author.
Through the revision process, referees made appropriate comments that improved the quality of the manuscript.
Referees did not criticize the English, not even suggested to change a single word.
Simultaneously, it is so satisfying and frustrating.
To be a corresponding author means a lot on my field.
To be Spanish-native and to be able to write by yourself your first corresponding author paper in English should mean a lot, too.
Even though it is supposed that it is a basic skill among Spanish-native researchers (science is English-written), it is not as common as it should be.
Sadly, no one of my current colleagues knows that I have written all the papers that I have published so far as a first author.
(Blame it on my advisor.)
I don't even know if my current colleagues know that I had four papers as first author when I started to work with them.
It's pretty normal, but it's so frustrating.
I must start from scratch, as if in my previous papers, I could barely write in English.
This is so damn irritating.
(Well, in a way, this blog supports my point).
Now, I enjoy my life more than I did six years ago.
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| Anna Hanks from Austin, Texas, USA (16 March 2011, 14:35) |
I employ it for writing personal stuff.
I even finished a novel with which I participated on Premio Mauricio Achar 2018.
I employ it for reading several pieces of information, literature and music.
I write about these things on my blogs.
I employ my free time for playing electric guitar.
I have three guitars -a Squier Stratocaster, a Gibson SG and another cheaper one-, and I also bought a couple of amplifiers, microphones and several guitar pedals.
I play songs I like -I never learn a song just because- and I even have composed some silly songs. I don't know if someday I will have the opportunity to record them.
I employ my free time for listening music.
That's how I discovered several artists I hadn't heard, like Kurt Vile, Courtney Barnett, Cloud Nothings...
(I have a small fortune on books, CDs, cassettes and vinyls.
I could have bought a car, instead of having these small treasures).
Nowadays, I barely drink alcohol or eat unhealthy food.
I quit smoking three years ago, I had surgery two years ago...
And Mark Lanegan came back to give a show.
Unlike six years ago, I know a lot more his solo career.
Among several of his songs and collaborations, I have heard The Winding Sheet, Bubblegum, Blues Funeral and Gargoyle...
After the show, I even shook hands with him and I got he signed me a copy of Uncle Anesthesia.
This time he was accompanied by Shelley Brien on keyboards and Jeff Fielder on guitar. They were touring Gargoyle, his tenth LP and fourth in five years.
(It was an awesome show.
Eventually, when I feel less darker and negative, I will post about it.)
No matter what, sometimes I still feel invisible, like I did six years ago.
Now My Mind Must Go on Holiday
