You Want It All But You Can't Have It

A colleague invited me to teach a class to graduate students, a couple of months ago.

Students were so tired.  
They told me that they had had classes all day long.

He wanted me to speak to them about the most studied receptors and hormones involved in food intake regulation. 

The course was about hormonal pharmacology. 

Another colleague invited me to teach a class to the same graduate students, a week ago. 

She wanted me to speak to them about the basic aspects of food intake regulation with emphasis on the hypothalamus. 

She's so smart and I got nervous. 

Nonetheless, after a few minutes I managed myself. 

We were about to leave the classroom, when a student appeared out of nowhere.

She asked me if I wouldn't give them a musical recommendation.

The first time I spoke to them had coincided with Kurt Cobain's mournful anniversary and at the end of the class it occurred to me to recommend that they listen to his music.

The student looked kind of impatient. 
It's possible that the second class would have bored her. 
Maybe it just sucked. 

She told me about Mike Patton and a band called Mr. Bungle.

I didn't know what the hell she was talking about. 

She said that he was the singer of Faith No More and that he had a band which sounded like Primus.

She said that this band would change my life. 

A just woke up from a confusing dream.

We were sitting in a coffee shop. 

She wore Jim Morrison-style leather pants along with an intense red blouse.
The blouse had a gigantic neckline.

She crossed one leg over the other and lit a cigarette. 

For some reason, I noticed her Doctor Martens boots.
They made think of a woman with which whom I had a murky romance.

(This woman wore the most exclusive and expensive models of the British company.)  

    
As she smoked, I couldn't stop seeing her cleavage. 
It was hypnotic and made me feel dizzy. 
Her breast looked so mysterious and unreachable.  
I felt guilty, morbid, weak and idiot at the same time. 

Suddenly, she said

"Don't you really know Mike Patton?"

pulling me out of my own thoughts. 
  
I felt so stupid that I just smiled at her.

Then, as I asked her for a cigarette, I looked at her face.
As she touched my hand to give me a cigarette, I felt dizzy again. 

I brought the cigarette to my lips and she lit it to me. 

Her eyes looked kind of evil and her skin was so pale. 
Her hair was dyed purple and blue. 
She seemed a vampire. 

As she lit me the cigarette, I could see a tattoo on her forearm.
It was a tattoo resembling Lilith's Star. 

What does this mean?
Should I listen Mr. Bungle?

You Want It All But You Can't Have It

I Can See Jesus And He's Frowning At Me

(Not finished)
I'm goin' to tell you how it was to write a novel (well it was already written, but I had to reviewed it).
I started to write it on my 33rd birthday. I felt my life lack of meaning. I only wanted to finish my PhD. I barely tolerated my life

This is about the earthquake. Put the photo you took early in the morning, that day, on September 19th.
The paper of that earthquake in China.

As much as sickness allowed me to do. 

But you think that I am an ordinary guy. 

New Day Rising

As we lie in bed, your face reminds me of someone. 

The image is blurry at the beginning, but, as I cannot stop looking at you, it becomes clearer.

Your face looks like the face of this girl I met in the last year of Elementary school.

By then, our families had become friends and so we used to visit each other's house once per month, or so.

When I went to her house, we used to sneak out of dinners.

Then we hid in a treehouse in the backyard of her house. 

We had good times in the backyard. 

Mainly we kissed and spoke about cartoons we hadn't seen and drugs we hadn't tried. 

As we lie in bed and your face reminds me of this girl, I remember her lips.

They were soft like velvet, but violent. 

They shone as a sun rising. 

They shone as a new day rising. 

Her eyebrows always seemed so stretched out that her face always seemed to be surprised. 

We were just a couple of precocious kids attracted to sex in an childish way.

By the last weeks of spring of that last year in Elementary school, as usual, I went to her house and we again sneaked out of dinner. 

This girl pushed down to the floor of the treehouse. 

Then she put her face on my chest.

After a few minutes, she sat slowly beside me.

She looked at me and then decided to get rid off her clothes.

Her naked body was something so perfect and bizarre. 

I felt attracted to it in a pretty wild way, but I didn't know what to do.

Simultaneously, I felt so excited and numb. 

She looked at me. 

She asked me to get naked, too.

It was completely awkward.

I was afraid of my body. I felt uncomfortable about my body. 

I was a chubby kid and my belly made me look so silly. 

I watched her brunette skin. The way her naked body irradiated some sort of spiritual shining into the obscured treehouse, gave me the creeps. 

This spiritual shining emanating from her body was made of dark and blue vapor trails of dawn, or it seemed so. 

In my dream, these sort of dark and blue vapor trails of dawn surround the entire bedroom.

As we lie in bed and I cannot stop thinking about this girl, I open my eyes and I focus on your face. Now, I know that I have seen you on a TV show. You're an athlete. 

Now you're on top of me. 
You have a horny looking. 

You bring your face down on me. 
You whisper me something in a sexual language. 
Your breath is so sweet. It smells like vanilla. 
You control me. You ride me. 

Your brown hair with blonde twists spreads on my chest like a rainbow cascade.
You open your lips and suddenly your tongue runs across my chest.

I look at the ceiling. 
There's an enormous mirror on the top of us.
As you lick my chest and I feel your tongue like an aphrodisiac, I see the cascade of your hair soaked on the  mattress. 

You're so horny.

You climb on me and start to move against my crotch.
You make me feel so excited. 
You control me. You ride me. 

You turn around and now I see your back.
You continue moving, back and forth, back and forth, against my crotch. 
You control me. You ride me. 

I feel I'm about to explode. 
I have an erection that I cannot handle. 
I'm slowly becoming a part of you.
I'm slowly inside of you.

I know I should use a condom, but it's too late. 

I cannot stop looking at my erection in the shadows of the bedroom. 
It looks diabolic. I cannot believe what had just happened. 

New Day Rising, by Hüsker Dü