Let The Sun Beat Through The Clouds

It seemed to be another day, a simple Tuesday.

From the bed, I watched the clock located at the corner of the bedroom.

It was almost 11 o'clock. 

I had been the entire day feeling ill.

I was so sick for being in bed. 

I was tired and I had abdominal pain.

I was starved, but I couldn't eat.

(I felt so sick that I couldn't even eat an apple nor drink a glass of milk.) 

I felt I was electrified, hanging on a cross made of fire. 

I just wanted to sleep, but the pain was so destructive. 

All my nerves were too aware.

All my thoughts burned my mind.

I was febrile and I started to hallucinate.

I wasn't able to catch a single piece of a dream.

Suddenly, my ears bled with this song of R. E. M.

(I love you madly, just keep watch). 

As I was finally falling asleep, the telephone roared in the bedroom.

I woke up, abruptly. 

The bedroom became a time bomb and my heart was about to explode.

The bed was like a land mine and my body was gunpowder.

(I love you madly, just keep watch).

While the telephone roared, I felt some kind of energy irradiating my soul. 

Suddenly, I thought 

"It's not impossible to have a crush on the telephone..."

"Who's this?", I asked.

And then...

It was YOU.

YOU.

My lovely young idiot baby

(she used to say "Don't you call me adorable, 'cuz I feel that I am Thelma and that you're Garfield!") 

YOU.

YOU.

YOU.

My most terrible passion

(the very first time we kissed, she said "I'm a pretty good slut!")

YOU. 

YOU. 

YOU.

YOU.

YOU.

YOU.

I won't write your name.

(You don't even deserve so)

YOU appeared on the telephone.

Like old times. 

Your soft voice.

Like vanilla ice cream in the middle of the summer.

(I love you madly, just keep watch).

Your infantile voice. 

Like Tinker Bell scratching at the bottom of my heart. 

Your evil way of thinking.

Like a silly speech of an evil politician.

Your bitter way of thinking of me. 

Like a broken TV spitting suicidal messages to the audience.

Your awful way to be.

Like a frozen woman healing thru the cruelty.

(I love you madly, just keep watch).

YOU turned my memories into ashes.

Like that book of Petros Márkaris I gave to you.  

Like that live show of Kurt Cobain you gave to me. 

Like that old song I only play on guitar on sunny days.

Like that old blog I only post on every other day.

You started to tell me things about your boyfriend.

When you suffocated me, I started to ask you for one last chance.

"Well, I'll call you soon...", you sentenced and then hunged up the phone. 

YOU

Well You Know I Nearly Broke Down And Cried

She was younger than me, and I met her in a garage punk concert. I was having a smoke when she appeared out of nowhere and asked me for a cigarette lighter. Her scent drove me wild. Her eyes gleamed like a crazy star in the darkness of El Foro Alicia. 

We started to talk a few minutes later, when I wanted to have another smoke and I was convinced that she had lost my cigarette lighter. She denied it, and I focused on her lips. They looked so fleshy. A silly question crossed my mind: What if I kiss her?

I told her that I found her pretty, and that she smelled like a strange plant. She asked what kind of plant, and I just said something like a water lily. She smiled. At the time, I was a little bit drunk. Do not know why, but I imagined that we could end up kissing. 

Silencios Incómodos were about to perform that night, and I told her that I knew their new album. They were releasing it that night and they will perform it that night. I really knew it, since my brother was friend of the guys of the band, but she thought I just wanted to impress her. She told me her favorite band was Black Sabbath, and started to whisper Iron Man in my ear.

We kissed as the band played Detrás De La Tormenta, my favorite song of the album. Her lips were soft and I thought she had and expertise in kissing. Maybe I was too drunk. 

Suddenly, her dad called her on the cell phone. He was waiting for her to take her home. She said "Good Bye" and gave me her cell phone number, in case I wanted to call her someday.  Never thought I would, but I did it a few days later. 

We went out several times. Each time I liked her more and more, but I also felt more and more guilty. It was really stupid, but I hated it to be older than her. She said she didn't care. Eventually, she got tired. 

I'm listening Abbey Road, even though I don't like The Beatles at all, and I can't stop thinking of her. I miss her a lot. 

Zeitgedächtnis

I always dream of this and I'm overbored  The dream has a strange force It pushes me to miss someone   And I shouldn't allow her to become part of my life 'Cause she has forgotten me  The days elapse slowly and the hours make me feel like if a rusty knife were cutting somewhere inside my brain    Women sometimes are really dangerous and aware of the damage they provoke us Specially when you care about one 'Cause it's funny to realize that those women you don't care about Wait for you and call you and do everything for you   Even for one single second!!!  That kind of things that stop you in the street while you're walking through awful faces and then you sigh    So deep and sad   And you ask yourself: 'Why couldn't we be together?' 'She's the only one I really want' And then the girl just fades out like a beautiful dream you woke up from this morning 

And well this repetitive dream consists of the same scene: At her home  There is a big wooden table  There are 6 or 7 guys around you  Everyone has taken a seat  No one looks at you  It seems you are invicible  And the sensation it's great  Then she seats close to you  Looks at you with a big smile and with some kind of happiness inside her eyes  Then she asks you: 'Would you like to come another day, honey?' And the fact it's that you feel completely happy  So numb at the same time But later  YOU wake up and the dream not only hasn´t vanished at all, but has burned into your brain, like a long-lasting reflex