They come like an annoying internal voice.
This voice always whispers to me.
All day long, it whispers negative things.
It is a hard habit.
It is present in all the aspects of my life.
It makes me sick.
It makes me see the dark side of everything I do.
I'm about to go to a birthday party.
I have to travel across the city.
It sickenings me, too.
I've been thinking why I avoid this type of meetings.
There is always a guy who appears out of nowhere and starts to say silly things about me -or about what I do- and I am unable to give a smart answer.
It's a dilemma.
Should I ignore him, or should I explain him why he's wrong?
When I decide to explain him, he just changes the topic.
Should I laugh and pretend he's funny as hell?
Maybe I should nod and smile.
I am a slow-minded man.
I am a troubled man.
I always have.
I guess I just need to don't care about what people say.
They always speak about things they barely know.
However, they make me feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes I wish I could be as simple as them.
They seem to be happy having kids and cars.
Nonetheless, they need to go to the church each Sunday morning.
They need someone to tell them how to conduct their own lives.
They need to find a mystical force to have a reason to work all day long.
They need a mystical force to tolerate their miserable existences.
Maybe they don't even have time to realize how much they hate their jobs.
They find happiness on TV.
They find happiness on loud music.
Always the same song, or any song.
They don't even have a favourite band.
They go with the flow.
It's OK.
But I can't ignore them, when they speak about things they don't understand.
I can't ignore them when they assume each one around them is the same.
We're not the same.
Even when we f**k it all.
These thoughts increased yesterday.
I feel kind of dizzy and I have a stomach ache.
I would prefer to stay at home.
I'm sleepy and nauseous.
I would prefer to employ my time in a different way.
I can't stop these thoughts.
They are like an uncontrollable disease.
I've been thinking how will it be when someone appears out of nowhere and start to say silly things.
It seems likely that I am going to be breathless and speechless.
Like I frequently do.
Later, when I arrive home, I will be complaining about it and the response I should have given will appear and I will regret to be such a slow-minded man.
On the other hand, it is possible that nobody speaks to me.
Look at the bright side.
(My whole existence is for your amusement.)
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