I'm so tired of being like this, a week ago I got the flu, ten years ago I got this curse, looking for a full tenure track position is an endless job, it doesn't matter how much I try, this year I read and sent tons of applications, wrote tons of research projects, wrote tons of intention letters, read tons of diplomatic rejection letters, got used to be frustrated, all I wanted to have was the type of job that I deserve, and then this girl appears out of nowhere, and then this dream screams deep inside of me, it's annoying, I'm sick, I cough, I spit myself in two, dunno how much will I resist, I'm kind of sick of all, in this moment I'm not even able to get up and run for an hour, I'm just what I am, no matter how much I try.
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